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Friday, February 25, 2005

Gannongate, Part 3: De-deuce Bigelow, Male Gigolo

Last time we talked about why Gannon and the White House need to be thoroughly investigated – criminal activity is going on! Also, we realized that when presidents commit crimes (Bill Clinton perjured himself), they need to be held accountable.

We have now deduced that criminal activity is taking place in the White House (prostitution, pimping, and solicitation of sex) and now comes the fun part of trying to deduce who is involved. “Hold on there Mr. De-deuce Bigelow”, you say, “I’m not sure you have enough evidence to even deduce what you’ve been deduce’n!” Well, previously we deduced that there was sexual (and criminal) activity going on the White House, but the Bloogeyman has gotten many comments from people who just aren’t able to take the logical leap that the evidence provides. So, we’ll just delay the next part in order to look a little more into the evidence available for us to deduce the events that have been taking place in the White House.

In the previous part we figured on a personal level that if the White House was just looking for a shill reporter they would get someone with no ‘personal-life issues’ or dirty laundry. There are millions of people willing to be pseudo-journalists if you pay them enough, and most of them don’t have much baggage or dirty laundry. Why not get someone to lob you easy questions during press briefings who doesn’t have a gay hooker/pimp background? Why, indeed. In fact, the more you think about the situation the more it becomes clear that Gannon was in the White House because he was a gay hooker, not because he was just a right-wing “journalist”.

We can also look at the whole scenario from a different perspective. The Bloogeyman is a capitalist and has studied a little economics. The Bloogeyman believes in supply and demand. For example, during the Clinton administration the whole ‘intern industry’ prospered because there was demand for fresh young interns – no demand, no sexy interns show up. But, if you didn’t know of the demand, you could still look at the fact that there was so much supply of interns (and the ‘price’ wasn’t declining) and deduce the fact that there was a lot of demand for interns.

Now, look at the current economic scenario. Suddenly, there are a lot of gay hookers in Washington (some would argue there were always a lot of gay hookers in Washington, but let’s not drag congressmen into this…). In fact, ever since the Bush administration moved in the supply of fresh young interns has dropped off the map (apparently the demand cratered) and the supply of gay hookers has gone through the roof. I mean, the fact that that a gay pimp/hooker is sitting in on press briefings and going to White House Christmas parties tells me that the market is hot. Hey, this is all Economics / Logic 101. Below is a chart from a recent study done by Professor Shinkleton regarding economic indicators in the Washington D.C. area:

Where there is supply, there is demand (or excess demand if prices are rising). And if you have supply you need distribution channels. Those distribution channels will lead right to the demand source. All roads lead to Rome, right? Well, it seems that all gay hooker distribution channels lead to the White House. We’re looking at a situation where the demand was so hot that a distribution channel had to be operating in the White House every day. Sure, they treated him like a whore by making him get a pass every day, but, well, I guess he was a whore.

In the next part, the Bloogeyman will finally get to where he was going all along: finding out where these distribution channels lead. That is, who the hell is using up all the supply of gay hookers in Washinton?!? (Inquiring congressional minds want to know!)