Everything is Ponte’ing to Trouble
Ok, I’m pretty sure that Charles Manson could get confirmed by this Congress. Just when I thought my blood pressure was coming down from the Alberto Gonzales and Condoleezza Rice confirmations guess which boogeyman comes crawling back? I’m not going to rehash John Negroponte’s long and despicable career (it looks like a ‘distinguished’ career if you’re in Congress). Instead, just take a look at some comments from people regarding his nomination (taken from these CNN and Fox News articles):
At a Senate Intelligence Committee hearing Wednesday, Rockefeller had criticized Bush for taking so long to name a director.
But Thursday he praised the president's choice. "I think that Ambassador Negroponte is a very sound choice," Rockefeller said. "Ambassador Negroponte has served bravely and with distinction in
"I'm enthusiastic …he stands sort of midpoint between the military and the intelligence world … and he has as his deputy someone who knows more about the collection of intelligence than anybody else on Earth ... they have very good chemistry, I think they'll make a very good team," Sen. Jay Rockefeller, the ranking Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee, told FOX News. "He'll get confirmed, I think, easily and quickly."
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., however, said she is thankful Negroponte will be in the business of collection, analysis and dissemination of information, and not a policy maker or Cabinet officer.
Both skeptics and hopefuls say the new director has more than a few challenges ahead — from turf battles at the major intelligence and national security agencies to bureaucratic resistance and the ultimate test of wielding the authority needed to transform the nation’s intelligence capabilities.
"He’s going to have to be a skull-cracker, that’ll make the difference," said Amy Zegart, a professor of public policy at UCLA, former student of now-Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice…
WTF?!? Ok, we’ll start with you Mr. Rockefeller. I understand that you’re a Senator from
And that last quote – boy, it seems like there is going to be a lot of work to be done. Gee, it seems like there is always a lot of work to be done in the Bush administration and it all seems to be hard work. Man, there are going to be “turf battles”, and “bureaucratic resistance” (read: judicial resistance), and “the ultimate test of wielding the authority” – talk about some serious heavy lifting. Well, good thing we’ve got John Negroponte, you see, “he’s going to have to be a skull-cracker”. Wait…what?!? Now I’m really creeped out. I mean, I kind of gandered a guess at where this might lead, but you don’t just come out and say it. Think of the children! I’m pretty sure little Timmy will have a hard time sleeping knowing that some boogeyman just crawled out of the sewer and now is going to have to be a “skull-cracker”. I know I’m going to have a hard time sleeping.
Well, that’s the story – he’s been nominated and his confirmation seems like a “slam dunk”. I’m not going to rehash history or go into a tirade of often used accusations and evidence pointing to his many ‘shortcomings’ (to really, really understate the situation). The Bloogeyman will just get into a line of a little deductive hypothesis (some might call it rumor-mongering). That is, I’m just going to sit back a little bit and look at the whole situation and try to see if I can glean anything that has not been explicitly said or reported in the “media”.
We were all a little shocked when (*surprise!*) the Bush administration announced that John Negroponte would be the ambassador to
Ali al-Sistani: So, what’s going on?
Ali al-Sistani: So, what’s going on?
Lackey: Well, there’s news: the Occupation Forces just appointed John Negroponte as the Ambassador to
AaS: WTF?!? Is that the John Fucking Negroponte I’m thinking of?
L: Yep, that’s the motherfucker.
AaS: Really? Hell, I thought that ghoul had long since passed.
L: Nope, he was actually the U.N. Ambassador before this.
AaS: Oh, that’s why I hadn’t heard of him – does anyone even pay attention to the U.N. anymore?
L: Well, not Saddam and definitely not the
……seven months later……
L: Uh, you gotta see this article in Newsweek. It talks about how the Occupation Forces might use the “Salvador Option”.
AaS: Yup, knew that. Next.
L: WTF?!? How the hell could you know about this? It just came out!
AaS: Didn’t you get the memo? I sent it out a couple months ago.
L: What memo?
AaS: Don’t you ever check your inbox? Anyway, they’ve been using the Salvador Option for a while now. I mean, come on, the Sunnis have their hands full getting beat down by the Occupation Forces – they’re not dumb enough to start car-bombing Shiite mosques so we also come in and regulate on their asses. That’s why I’ve told everyone to play it cool and not get a civil war started with the Sunnis.
L: Wow, and to think I was about to open a can of Shiite on my Sunni barber…
AaS: Look, anything else?
L: Well, what do we do about this whole Negroponte situation?
AaS: I may look like Santa Clause, but I’m not dumb. I’ve already handled it.
L: What did you do?
AaS: Well, I sent an intermediary to talk to the Occupation Forces and basically said: “We’ve got your number so don’t try any tricky shit – get this John Fuckingponte guy out of my country or you’re in for a world of hurt. You can get him out after the election so it doesn’t look all weird and stuff, but I want him out!”
L: Wow, I never would have imagined…
AaS: God, you’re dumb – how much do I pay you?
L: You pay me with the promise of eternal paradise.
AaS: Really? Damn, I need to re-evaluate my health-care plan, sounds expensive.
So there you go. Of course it’s a complete, unsubstantiated rumor, but that’s how the Bloogeyman logically thinks things could have gone down. The Bush Administration had to get Johnnie boy out of
But Negroponte may appear to be somewhat of an unusual choice, some observers said.
Bush responded to questions about the appropriateness of the choice by saying that Negroponte can maneuver through bureaucratic
"He's a diplomat ... he understands the power centers of
But the Bloogeyman wants to take another deductive look at the situation. Let’s look at Negroponte’s history. He’s been involved in some pretty nasty, under the table-type stuff over the years. He’s practically the boogeyman of nasty plumbing – he gets into the stuff that really stinks. And why would you hire a plumber if you don’t got some plumb’n that needs a fix’n? Chew on that for a while and see if your skin doesn’t start to crawl.